Living Room - User contributions [en]

Take Back Your Name

2009-08-13T18:37:16Z

DannyOBrien: /* comments */

[[Category: Songs]]
[[Category: Gabe McElwain (Chicago)]]

[[Media:takebackyourname01.mp3|Take Back Your Name (demo) - MP3]]

== Lyrics ==

<pre>
you can keep the ring
i left it on the table
you can keep the table, by the way, that's fine
you can open any mail addressed to both of us
take back your name
it looks awful next to mine

you can keep the sheets
we slept on if you want them
and that undershirt that i liked sleeping in
i am getting the tattoo removed this afternoon
take back your name
it feels awful on my skin

keep my cigarettes 'cause i could use breather
i know i said some awful things but i'm
not taking those back either

you can keep the
memories we made together
of the times we had before this thing went south
you can keep the promises we made with someone else
take back your name
it tastes awful in my mouth

you can keep the ring and when you take the ring back then
take back your name
i won't be needing it again
</pre>

== Music ==
=== Chords ===
<pre>
D e
e A7 D
f# F#7
b b7/A
g#%7 G A7

b E g#%7 e A7

f# F#7
b b7/A G A7 D
</pre>

===Structure===
A A B A A'

== Notes ==
I had this idea to write a somewhat humorous song about having to get a tattoo removed after a relationship has ended some time last week, but then working on it today it turned into this. I think it's because I have been listening to "Sad Songs and Waltzes" by Willie Nelson for two days straight. I am just glad to have finished a version of one of these country tunes! I have three or four more in various states of completion, so as long if I can keep starting songs at this rate and finish them a little faster, I'll still have one a month by the end of the year. [[User:Gabemcelwain|Gabemcelwain]] 19:31, 27 February 2009 (PST)

Changed "speaking" to "needing" in the last line. It sings better and really, is better. [[User:Gabemcelwain|Gabemcelwain]] 07:49, 2 March 2009 (PST)

===comments===

the concept and lyrics for this song are awesome, and the structure is solid. the ideas are compelling and each line is very very tight. there's no wasted space here. i like the way the last line of each verse becomes more personal: "it looks awful next to mine", "it feels awful on my skin", "it tastes awful in my mouth", and "i won't be speaking it again." the bridge is wonderfully spiteful too, i particularly like way "i know i said" echo's "cigarettes" --though i wished that it had been flipped a little more, perhaps have it name some things that the ex-lover should leave? also, there's something about the chord progression that isn't hitting me quite right. you have some really tight rhymes in the verses ("fine/mine", "in/skin", "mouth/south", "then/again") but I'm not hearing them in this recording. I think that its because the first word is on the D chord (I) and then the second word comes when you're on the A7(V7). It may also be the fact that there's a lot of time between the two words. I'm not sure. But there's something about that A7 though. I think it makes the verses sound like a question rather than a statement. I thought maybe it was because you're playing in Dmajor on the guitar and so the A7 resolved up to the D instead of down, but when i played it myself in E major and G major it sounded the same way to me. I'm not sure what it is, but I wish the last two lines of the verse sounded stronger, more certain. Also that's where you have the title of the song, it'd be cool if that part stood out a bit more. All in all though this is very very impressive. The lyrics a very cool, they're direct and precise. nice work. I can't wait to hear more!! [[User:Conorl|Conorl]] 08:28, 1 March 2009 (PST)

thanks for the comments, man! i agree that the title phrase gets lost since in each case it's being used as a sort of transition between stanzas. and you're right about the rhymes, too. i might try a version where i come back to the D major at the end of each stanza. i hope becky and i will work on this one tomorrow night! [[User:Gabemcelwain|Gabemcelwain]] 08:07, 2 March 2009 (PST)

actually i was listening again this morning. now i'm thinking that it doesn't need to be at the end of each stanza. maybe just the first one. the A7 in the second stanza sets up the bridge nicely, and the A7 in the third stanza sets up the ending. i think maybe if you just do the same trick you do in the A' section at the end of the first stanza, that might work... anyway, its a killer song. i'm super impressed with the lyrics. great work. [[User:Conorl|Conorl]] 09:50, 2 March 2009 (PST)

Something I really love about this song occurred to me the other day: Each thing the addressee is invited to "take back" (particularly in the first verse) flows casually from the previous item mentioned as the singer simply looks around the room. The thought that starts it all is Take back the ring, but the ring is placed on a table so Take the table, too. Oh hey, there's mail on the table. Keep the mail. Your name is on the mail: Take back your name. There's an hidden structure here that has the effect of making the great rhymes seem completely effortless. [[User:DannyOBrien|DannyOBrien]] 11:37, 13 August 2009 (PDT)

The Reviews Are In

2008-03-19T21:56:59Z

DannyOBrien:

[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Danny O'Brien (cleveland)]]
[[Category:Gabe McElwain (Chicago)]]
[[Media:Thereviewsarein2.mp3|The Reviews Are In - MP3]]

== Lyrics ==

We didn’t think it would be easy, we knew you only get

Out of something what you put into it

So we pooled our hearts and put our heads together

If I may say so you were brave beyond expectations long

After it was clear that something was wrong

This won’t come as a surprise but it’ll sting a little

The reviews are in

The reviews are in

Our love relied too heavily on special effects

The characters were too contrived, the setup too complex

We used up all the budget on the violence and sex

And had no story

I would have nominated us for most optimistic pitch

Of a happy ending the likes of which

Would require disbelief beyond suspension

But in the end the thrills were too cheap; our public wanted more,

Like a leading pair they’d be rooting for

And although I’d give us points for trying, they’re not buying

The reviews are in

The reviews are in

Our love relied too heavily on special effects

The characters were too contrived, the setup too complex

We used up all the budget on the violence and sex

And had no story

We’ll never work

We’ll never work

We’ll never work

In this town again

== Music ==
===Chords===

intro:
G G+ e/G G+ G G+ c

verse:
e A C G
e A7 a7 c
e A C G
e A7 a7 D

chorus:
G G+ e/G G+
G G+ e/G a0
a7 b7 C Dsus4 D
a7/E Dsus4/F#
G G+ e/G G+ G G+ c

bridge:
G b/F# e e7/D
C
D
e
A7/C# A7
C
a0/D# B7
C
c

===Structure===
A B A B C

== Author's Notes ==

Gabe and I wrote this song together, via e-mail, in October and November of 2007. I wrote the chorus first, then Gabe wrote verse one. Then I wrote verse two, and Gabe revised a few lines. Then Gabe suggested the words for the bridge and I wrote the melody. Then we sat on the song for a while and agonized over a few word choices (inconclusively).

There is a lot wrong with this demo, but I think it at least captures the energy I'd want this song to have.

I don't think either of us knows exactly how to end it. Two choruses are enough.

[[User:DannyOBrien|DannyOBrien]] 14:22, 19 March 2008 (PDT)

== Comments ==

The Reviews Are In

2008-03-19T21:22:30Z

DannyOBrien:

[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Danny O'Brien (cleveland)]]
[[Category:Gabe McElwain (Chicago)]]
[[Media:Thereviewsarein2.mp3|The Reviews Are In - MP3]]

== Lyrics ==

We didn’t think it would be easy, we knew you only get

Out of something what you put into it

So we pooled our hearts and put our heads together

If I may say so you were brave beyond expectations long

After it was clear that something was wrong

This won’t come as a surprise but it’ll sting a little

The reviews are in

The reviews are in

Our love relied too heavily on special effects

The characters were too contrived, the setup too complex

We used up all the budget on the violence and sex

And had no story

I would have nominated us for most optimistic pitch

Of a happy ending the likes of which

Would require disbelief beyond suspension

But in the end the thrills were too cheap; our public wanted more,

Like a leading pair they’d be rooting for

And although I’d give us points for trying, they’re not buying

The reviews are in

The reviews are in

Our love relied too heavily on special effects

The characters were too contrived, the setup too complex

We used up all the budget on the violence and sex

And had no story

We’ll never work

We’ll never work

We’ll never work

In this town again

== Music ==
===Chords===

intro:
G G+ e/G G+ G G+ c

verse:
e A C G
e A7 a7 c
e A C G
e A7 a7 D

chorus:
G G+ e/G G+
G G+ e/G a0
a7 b7 C Dsus4 D
a7/E Dsus4/F#
G G+ e/G G+ G G+ c

bridge:
G b/F# e e7/D
C
D
e
A7/C# A7
C
a0/D# B7
C
c

===Structure===
A B A B C

== Author's Notes ==

Gabe and I wrote this song together, via e-mail, in October and November of 2008. I wrote the chorus first, then Gabe wrote verse one. Then I wrote verse two, and Gabe revised a few lines. Then Gabe suggested the words for the bridge and I wrote the melody. Then we sat on the song for a while and agonized over a few word choices (inconclusively).

There is a lot wrong with this demo, but I think it at least captures the energy I'd want this song to have.

I don't think either of us knows exactly how to end it. Two choruses are enough.

[[User:DannyOBrien|DannyOBrien]] 14:22, 19 March 2008 (PDT)

== Comments ==

Danny o'brien (cleveland)

2008-03-19T20:57:34Z

DannyOBrien:

Danny plays guitar for The Minimum Requirements.

==Songs==
*[[California (Bluegrass version)]]
*[[The Reviews Are In]]

[[Category:Members]]

File:Thereviewsarein2.mp3

2008-03-19T20:54:20Z

DannyOBrien:

Talk:Honey I'm Home

2008-03-19T15:53:53Z

DannyOBrien:

First off, let me just preface this by saying that I am absolute sucker for finger picked jazz guitar.

I really like this song on the first few times listening to it. I like the understated vocals I think it emphasizes to the simplicity of the subject.

It feels much longer than the 4:52 advertised.

I would love to see the chords.

-Justus

hey Justus,

nice to "see" you. i HATE this recording of this song now. it's by far my least favorite thing on here. i sing it all weird at the beginning, which sounds stupid. the tune is like ten years too long. the bridge really got away from me. and do i really need to do two full stanzas each verse? still, i think the hook is good, and some of the changes are pretty nice.

i think it could possibly make sense if i cut out the second verse, and did each section differently as part of a big bandy arrangement, a sort of little suite or something. if "suite" is a technical term, i'm sure i'm misusing it.

i have the chords written down at home, i'll put them up this weekend. thanks fer askin'!

[[User:Gabemcelwain|Gabemcelwain]] 09:28, 9 November 2007 (PST)

Gabe,

My initial thought on this song was that if you just left it at the first verse and one chorus, it would stand up really well as one little minute-and-a-half, linear, snapshot kind of song. I think if you wanted this to be a pop song, that's probably the way to go--instead of feeling played-out, it would leave the listener wanting more. The downside of that approach is that you would lose some good imagery (the razor, the assembly line) and the extended metaphor of singing a song. If this were a song in a musical, you could parcel out all your great verses separately as a theme threading through a story. Of course, then you'd have to write the rest of the musical... or not.

[[User:DannyOBrien|DannyOBrien]] 08:53, 19 March 2008 (PDT)

That's the Game

2007-11-18T18:43:15Z

DannyOBrien: /* Comments */

[[Category: Gabe McElwain (Chicago)]]
[[Category: Songs]]

demo coming soon! still needs a short bridge between the second and third choruses!

==lyrics==
<pre>
she swung her arms around me and
knocked my heart out of the park
i watched it sail over the
fence and was heard to remark

i thought i was a player
that all ends today where
was she when we were picking teams?
i threw everything at her
but that didn't matter
she busted my heart at the seams

when she rounded the corner
the crowd rose as one to its feet
i watched her smile as she ran by and
felt oddly at peace with defeat

boys don't call me a quitter
but there goes a hitter
if ever a hitter i've seen
gotta know who the boss is
and when to cut your losses
she'd win twenty out of nineteen

who'd'a thunk, who'd'a guessed it?
i been blessed, i been bested
getting licked fair and square ain't no shame
that's the year, that's the season
that's my career. she's un-
believable, she's quite a dame.

i'll never be one for cheatin'
i know when i'm beaten
and i'm sorry boys, that's the game
</pre>

== music ==
===chords===
in F# (or Gb) major, i'll post the chords with the demo
===structure===
currently: A A' B B' A A' B B' ? B B'

== author's comments ==
i feel like i've finally got a solid entry in the "classic-sounding" "standard-aping" genre i've been stabbing blindly at for a while.

the only line that's still rubbing me the wrong way is the second line in the second verse, "the crowd rose as one to its feet". i need the "eet" rhyme, though i'm not wild about rhyming "feet" and "-feat". and i think "rose as one" is a little awkward, though technically correct? anyway. it'll make more sense when you hear the melody, i hope!

== Comments ==
Ooh, can't wait. [[User:DannyOBrien|DannyOBrien]] 10:43, 18 November 2007 (PST)

That's the Game

2007-11-18T18:40:19Z

DannyOBrien:

California (Bluegrass version)

2007-10-31T15:16:28Z

DannyOBrien:

[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Danny O'Brien (cleveland)]]

[[Image:earlscruggs.jpg|thumb|Earl Scruggs]]
[[Media:california-bluegrass.mp3|California (Bluegrass version) - MP3]]

I told Gabe recently that I thought his excellent song "California" would work as a banjo tune, so now I am furnishing proof of this allegation. Gabe's original is better, but this is kinda fun.

== Lyrics ==
See Gabe's: [[California]]

== Music ==
I tried to tune my banjo down a fourth, John Hartford-style, to preserve Gabe's original key of D. But the instrument would have none of this--the slightest touches kept sending it wildly out of tune. So after many botched attempts, I tuned back up to open G and did the song there.

The fiddle solo on this is by my bandmate Laura Simna. I wrote the licks for her; she sight-read it and did it in one take. She's awesome.

File:Earlscruggs.jpg

2007-10-31T15:12:33Z

DannyOBrien: Earl!

Earl!

California (Bluegrass version)

2007-10-31T06:10:17Z

DannyOBrien:

[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Danny O'Brien (cleveland)]]

[[Media:california-bluegrass.mp3|California (Bluegrass version) - MP3]]

I told Gabe recently that I thought his excellent song "California" would work as a banjo tune, so now I am furnishing proof of this allegation. Gabe's original is better, but this is kinda fun.

== Lyrics ==
See Gabe's: [[California]]

== Music ==
I tried to tune my banjo down a fourth, John Hartford-style, to preserve Gabe's original key of D. But the instrument would have none of this--the slightest touches kept sending it wildly out of tune. So after many botched attempts, I tuned back up to open G and did the song there.

The fiddle solo on this is by my bandmate Laura Simna. I wrote the licks for her; she sight-read it and did it in one take. She's awesome.

California (Bluegrass version)

2007-10-31T05:55:08Z

DannyOBrien:

[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:Danny O'Brien (cleveland)]]

I told Gabe recently that I thought his excellent song "California" would work as a banjo tune, so now I am furnishing proof of this allegation. Gabe's original is better, but this is kinda fun.

[[Media:california-bluegrass.mp3|California (Bluegrass version) - MP3]]

== Lyrics ==
See Gabe's: [[California]]

== Music ==
I tried to tune my banjo down a fourth, John Hartford-style, to preserve Gabe's original key of D. But the instrument would have none of this--the slightest touches kept sending it wildly out of tune. So after many botched attempts, I tuned back up to open G and did the song there.

The fiddle solo on this is by my bandmate Laura Simna. I wrote the licks for her; she sight-read it and did it in one take. She's awesome.

California (Bluegrass version)

2007-10-31T05:54:25Z

DannyOBrien:

[[Category:Songs]]
[[Category:danny o'brien (cleveland)]]

I told Gabe recently that I thought his excellent song "California" would work as a banjo tune, so now I am furnishing proof of this allegation. Gabe's original is better, but this is kinda fun.

[[Media:california-bluegrass.mp3|California (Bluegrass version) - MP3]]

== Lyrics ==
See Gabe's: [[California]]

== Music ==
I tried to tune my banjo down a fourth, John Hartford-style, to preserve Gabe's original key of D. But the instrument would have none of this--the slightest touches kept sending it wildly out of tune. So after many botched attempts, I tuned back up to open G and did the song there.

The fiddle solo on this is by my bandmate Laura Simna. I wrote the licks for her; she sight-read it and did it in one take. She's awesome.

Danny o'brien (cleveland)

2007-10-31T05:45:00Z

DannyOBrien:

Danny plays guitar for The Minimum Requirements.

==Songs==
*[[California (Bluegrass version)]]

[[Category:Members]]

Members

2007-10-31T05:42:51Z

DannyOBrien:

*[[sara johnsen (san francisco)]]
*[[robert voyer (chicago)]]
*[[gabe mcelwain (chicago)]]
*[[chris vlasses (chicago)]]
*[[deirdre kelly (philadelphia)]]
*[[becky stark (st. paul, MN)]]
*[[conor (philadelphia)]]
*[[travis carter (ithaca)]]
*[[emily c. (chicago)]]
*[[mk (chicago/oakland)]]
*[[danny o'brien (cleveland)]]

 
 
 
==creating a wiki login==
click the link at the very top right and follow the instructions to become a user of the wiki. this is good because it lets the wiki keep track of your every move (when you are logged in). click on the "recent" link in the sidebar to the left to see what i mean. 
 
if you don't create a login, due to some unfortunate spamming action, the wiki will not allow you to edit or add pages. :( 
 

==creating a new page in the wiki==
new wiki pages are created when you make a link to them from an existing page. 
 
so all you need to do to create a new page for yourself is click the "edit" tab above and add a link with your name to the above list. 
 
your new line in the list should look like this (you'll see the other links formatted this way in wiki code when you are editing): 
<nowiki>*[[your name (location)]]</nowiki> 
 
:asterisk is a bullet.
:pound sign makes a numbered list.
:double square brackets make a link.
 
links are the text that is enclosed in double square brackets: <nowiki>[[link]]</nowiki> 
#click the "edit" tab above to edit this (or any) page,
#create your link by typing the page title in double square brackets,
#click "Save page,"
#click on your new link, and
#the page will open ready to edit.
 
once you save the page you just created, that page will exist in the wiki, and you can visit it to edit it however you like. 
 
make sure the link is a title that you like, because the text of your link will be the name of the page, and that name will show at the top when the page is viewed. (you can change that later too, but it is a multi-step process, so it's better to start off with a title you like). 
 

for more information about how to write wiki formatting code (it's easy!) look at [http://www.tmbw.net/wiki/index.php/Basic_Wiki_Formatting this page] (from a they might be giants wiki, of all things).

==adding your personal category to the members category==
there's a line you totally need to have on your member page! we're not really using this very page (members) as the members page, since a wiki "category" will keep track of members better than we will. 
 
so, add the following line to your member page, and you will automatically be added to the members category: 
 
<nowiki>[[Category:Members]]</nowiki> 
 
so when people click on the word "members" in the sidebar at the left there, you'll be there. 
 
==adding your song to the songs category==
same deal with your song pages: 
 
add this line: 
 
<nowiki>[[Category:Songs]]</nowiki> 
 
to each song page, and they'll be in the song category, so when you click the "songs" link on the left, your songs will be there with the rest! 
 

==formatting your pages by copying gabe's code==
for the most part when making your pages, you can:
#go to [[gabe mcelwain (chicago)|one of gabe's pages]] of a similar nature,
#click the edit tab,
#copy all the text from the editing window, and
#paste it into your new page.
that way it is easy to format. 
 

==three SUPER IMPORTANT notes about wiki!==
#you can edit anyone's pages. this means if you go to gabe's page to gank his lovely formatting code, and really gank it (or delete it, or otherwise screw it up), and save it that way, any changes you made will be saved! poor gabe! so bear that in mind and be careful when editing. this is a nice feature because it allows you to leave comments on other people's songs, but it is kind of dangerous!
#;
#alt-d is wiki slang for "delete the current page." this is an extremely stupid hotkey but there it is. someday i will disable it. in the meantime, if you want to navigate elsewhere, please just click in the address bar instead of using this keyboard shortcut. thank you. 
#:
#an easy way to sign and datestamp your comments or other work is to type in four tildes in a row, like:
#::<nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>
#:i think that is my favorite wiki tag at the moment because it generates useful text from an adorable squiggly line.
 
 

==confused?==
please click the "discussion" tab above and leave a comment there if any of this is total nonsense. 
 
 
[[User:Sara|Sara]] 21:46, 30 August 2006 (PDT)

File:California-bluegrass.mp3

2007-10-31T05:37:44Z

DannyOBrien: Gabe's "California" covered by Danny & Laura.

Gabe's "California" covered by Danny & Laura.

User:DannyOBrien

2007-10-11T03:42:41Z

DannyOBrien:

[[Category:Members]]