An anchor and three stars - Revision history

Gabemcelwain at 16:29, 15 August 2007

2007-08-15T16:29:13Z

Gabemcelwain: /* Comments */

2007-08-14T17:08:20Z

‎Comments

Gabemcelwain at 17:07, 14 August 2007

2007-08-14T17:07:54Z

Robertvoyer at 17:37, 31 July 2007

2007-07-31T17:37:42Z

Robertvoyer at 17:36, 31 July 2007

2007-07-31T17:36:14Z

Robertvoyer at 17:34, 31 July 2007

2007-07-31T17:34:14Z

Robertvoyer at 17:33, 31 July 2007

2007-07-31T17:33:47Z

New page

This is a shitty recording of a song that I wrote for MK and Jenny's wedding. The song needs work. Suggestions are welcome:

[http://snort.uchicago.edu/~rlvoyer/ananchorandthreestars.mp3 link "An Anchor and Three Stars"]

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:29, 15 August 2007
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		+	[[Category: Songs]]
		+
	This is a shitty recording of a song that I wrote for MK and Jenny's wedding. The song needs work. Suggestions are welcome:		This is a shitty recording of a song that I wrote for MK and Jenny's wedding. The song needs work. Suggestions are welcome:

@@ Line 37: / Line 37: @@
 this is a very pretty song.  excellent guitar work, even more awesome than usual.
-===things i love about this song:===
+====things i love about this song:====
 * gutsy use of the word "helices"
 * good use of piano in the arrangement
@@ Line 43: / Line 43: @@
 * gorgeous melodies!
-===some ideas for changes===
+====some ideas for changes====
 * the lyrics in the verses could be stronger.  the imagery you invoke is attractive, but it doesn't seem to me to be particularly directed, focused.
 * the structure at the beginning is a little confusing, mostly because the second line in the verse the second time around is so much shorter, making you think maybe it's a new section.  maybe you could extend that line?  you probably don't have to, though.
 If we make a new band, we're playing the hell out of this one.

@@ Line 10: / Line 10: @@
 into our friends' and lovers' arms).
-The view from we you leave
+The view from where you leave
 it never rests.
-And all the loving birds
+And all the loving birds in flight
 stare back into the nest
 and take a breath.
@@ Line 32: / Line 32: @@
 And I will be standing next to you.
 </pre>

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:37, 31 July 2007
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	[http://snort.uchicago.edu/~rlvoyer/ananchorandthreestars.mp3 "An Anchor and Three Stars"]		[http://snort.uchicago.edu/~rlvoyer/ananchorandthreestars.mp3 "An Anchor and Three Stars"]
		+
		+	== Lyrics ==

	<pre>You taught me all the parts		<pre>You taught me all the parts

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:36, 31 July 2007
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	[http://snort.uchicago.edu/~rlvoyer/ananchorandthreestars.mp3 "An Anchor and Three Stars"]		[http://snort.uchicago.edu/~rlvoyer/ananchorandthreestars.mp3 "An Anchor and Three Stars"]
		+
		+	<pre>You taught me all the parts
		+	to be an anchor and three stars
		+	(the images we ink
		+	into our friends' and lovers' arms).
		+
		+	The view from we you leave
		+	it never rests.
		+	And all the loving birds
		+	stare back into the nest
		+	and take a breath.
		+
		+	Once in our life
		+	our steps seem to coincide
		+	freezing us in time.
		+	Our flight protracts into a glide.
		+
		+	It follows naturally
		+	that two falling bodies grow
		+	into ivy helices
		+	before the fall, before the snow
		+	covers the leaves.
		+
		+	Once in our life
		+	the walls come down
		+	crushing all you knew.
		+	And I will be standing next to you.
		+	</pre>

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:34, 31 July 2007
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	This is a shitty recording of a song that I wrote for MK and Jenny's wedding. The song needs work. Suggestions are welcome:		This is a shitty recording of a song that I wrote for MK and Jenny's wedding. The song needs work. Suggestions are welcome:

−	[http://snort.uchicago.edu/~rlvoyer/ananchorandthreestars.mp3 ~~link~~ "An Anchor and Three Stars"]	+	[http://snort.uchicago.edu/~rlvoyer/ananchorandthreestars.mp3 "An Anchor and Three Stars"]