Take Back Your Name - Revision history

DannyOBrien: /* comments */

2009-08-13T18:37:16Z

‎comments

Gabemcelwain at 00:57, 25 April 2009

2009-04-25T00:57:38Z

Conorl: /* comments */

2009-03-02T17:50:44Z

‎comments

Gabemcelwain: /* Notes */

2009-03-02T16:07:22Z

‎Notes

Gabemcelwain at 15:49, 2 March 2009

2009-03-02T15:49:24Z

Conorl: /* comments */

2009-03-01T16:33:40Z

‎comments

Conorl: /* Notes */

2009-03-01T16:28:34Z

‎Notes

Gabemcelwain at 03:31, 28 February 2009

2009-02-28T03:31:14Z

New page

[[Category: Songs]]
[[Category: Gabe McElwain (Chicago)]]

[[Media:takebackyourname01.mp3|Take Back Your Name (demo) - MP3]]

== Lyrics ==

<pre>
you can keep the ring
i left it on the table
you can keep the table, by the way, that's fine
you can open any mail addressed to both of us
take back your name
it looks awful next to mine

you can keep the sheets
we slept on if you want them
and that undershirt that i liked sleeping in
i am getting the tattoo removed this afternoon
take back your name
it feels awful on my skin

keep my cigarettes 'cause i could use breather
i know i said some awful things but i'm
not taking those back either

you can keep the
memories we made together
of the times we had before this thing went south
you can keep the promises you made to someone else
take back your name
it tastes awful in my mouth

you can keep the ring and when you take the ring back then
take back your name
i won't be speaking it again
</pre>

== Music ==
=== Chords ===
<pre>
D e
e A7 D
f# F#7
b b7/A
g#%7 G A7

b E g#%7 e A7

f# F#7
b b7/A G A7 D
</pre>

===Structure===
A A B A A'

== Notes ==
I had this idea to write a somewhat humorous song about having to get a tattoo removed after a relationship has ended some time last week, but then working on it today it turned into this. I think it's because I have been listening to "Sad Songs and Waltzes" by Willie Nelson for two days straight. I am just glad to have finished a version of one of these country tunes! I have three or four more in various states of completion, so as long if I can keep starting songs at this rate and finish them a little faster, I'll still have one a month by the end of the year. [[User:Gabemcelwain|Gabemcelwain]] 19:31, 27 February 2009 (PST)

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:37, 13 August 2009
Line 68:		Line 68:

	actually i was listening again this morning. now i'm thinking that it doesn't need to be at the end of each stanza. maybe just the first one. the A7 in the second stanza sets up the bridge nicely, and the A7 in the third stanza sets up the ending. i think maybe if you just do the same trick you do in the A' section at the end of the first stanza, that might work... anyway, its a killer song. i'm super impressed with the lyrics. great work. [[User:Conorl\|Conorl]] 09:50, 2 March 2009 (PST)		actually i was listening again this morning. now i'm thinking that it doesn't need to be at the end of each stanza. maybe just the first one. the A7 in the second stanza sets up the bridge nicely, and the A7 in the third stanza sets up the ending. i think maybe if you just do the same trick you do in the A' section at the end of the first stanza, that might work... anyway, its a killer song. i'm super impressed with the lyrics. great work. [[User:Conorl\|Conorl]] 09:50, 2 March 2009 (PST)
		+
		+	Something I really love about this song occurred to me the other day: Each thing the addressee is invited to "take back" (particularly in the first verse) flows casually from the previous item mentioned as the singer simply looks around the room. The thought that starts it all is <i>Take back the ring</i>, but the ring is placed on a table so <i>Take the table, too.</i> Oh hey, there's mail on the table. <i>Keep the mail.</i> Your name is on the mail: <i>Take back your name.</i> There's an hidden structure here that has the effect of making the great rhymes seem completely effortless. [[User:DannyOBrien\|DannyOBrien]] 11:37, 13 August 2009 (PDT)

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:50, 2 March 2009
Line 63:		Line 63:

	the concept and lyrics for this song are awesome, and the structure is solid. the ideas are compelling and each line is very very tight. there's no wasted space here. i like the way the last line of each verse becomes more personal: "it looks awful next to mine", "it feels awful on my skin", "it tastes awful in my mouth", and "i won't be speaking it again." the bridge is wonderfully spiteful too, i particularly like way "i know i said" echo's "cigarettes" --though i wished that it had been flipped a little more, perhaps have it name some things that the ex-lover should leave? also, there's something about the chord progression that isn't hitting me quite right. you have some really tight rhymes in the verses ("fine/mine", "in/skin", "mouth/south", "then/again") but I'm not hearing them in this recording. I think that its because the first word is on the D chord (I) and then the second word comes when you're on the A7(V7). It may also be the fact that there's a lot of time between the two words. I'm not sure. But there's something about that A7 though. I think it makes the verses sound like a question rather than a statement. I thought maybe it was because you're playing in Dmajor on the guitar and so the A7 resolved up to the D instead of down, but when i played it myself in E major and G major it sounded the same way to me. I'm not sure what it is, but I wish the last two lines of the verse sounded stronger, more certain. Also that's where you have the title of the song, it'd be cool if that part stood out a bit more. All in all though this is very very impressive. The lyrics a very cool, they're direct and precise. nice work. I can't wait to hear more!! [[User:Conorl\|Conorl]] 08:28, 1 March 2009 (PST)		the concept and lyrics for this song are awesome, and the structure is solid. the ideas are compelling and each line is very very tight. there's no wasted space here. i like the way the last line of each verse becomes more personal: "it looks awful next to mine", "it feels awful on my skin", "it tastes awful in my mouth", and "i won't be speaking it again." the bridge is wonderfully spiteful too, i particularly like way "i know i said" echo's "cigarettes" --though i wished that it had been flipped a little more, perhaps have it name some things that the ex-lover should leave? also, there's something about the chord progression that isn't hitting me quite right. you have some really tight rhymes in the verses ("fine/mine", "in/skin", "mouth/south", "then/again") but I'm not hearing them in this recording. I think that its because the first word is on the D chord (I) and then the second word comes when you're on the A7(V7). It may also be the fact that there's a lot of time between the two words. I'm not sure. But there's something about that A7 though. I think it makes the verses sound like a question rather than a statement. I thought maybe it was because you're playing in Dmajor on the guitar and so the A7 resolved up to the D instead of down, but when i played it myself in E major and G major it sounded the same way to me. I'm not sure what it is, but I wish the last two lines of the verse sounded stronger, more certain. Also that's where you have the title of the song, it'd be cool if that part stood out a bit more. All in all though this is very very impressive. The lyrics a very cool, they're direct and precise. nice work. I can't wait to hear more!! [[User:Conorl\|Conorl]] 08:28, 1 March 2009 (PST)
		+

	thanks for the comments, man! i agree that the title phrase gets lost since in each case it's being used as a sort of transition between stanzas. and you're right about the rhymes, too. i might try a version where i come back to the D major at the end of each stanza. i hope becky and i will work on this one tomorrow night! [[User:Gabemcelwain\|Gabemcelwain]] 08:07, 2 March 2009 (PST)		thanks for the comments, man! i agree that the title phrase gets lost since in each case it's being used as a sort of transition between stanzas. and you're right about the rhymes, too. i might try a version where i come back to the D major at the end of each stanza. i hope becky and i will work on this one tomorrow night! [[User:Gabemcelwain\|Gabemcelwain]] 08:07, 2 March 2009 (PST)
		+
		+	actually i was listening again this morning. now i'm thinking that it doesn't need to be at the end of each stanza. maybe just the first one. the A7 in the second stanza sets up the bridge nicely, and the A7 in the third stanza sets up the ending. i think maybe if you just do the same trick you do in the A' section at the end of the first stanza, that might work... anyway, its a killer song. i'm super impressed with the lyrics. great work. [[User:Conorl\|Conorl]] 09:50, 2 March 2009 (PST)

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:07, 2 March 2009
Line 63:		Line 63:

	the concept and lyrics for this song are awesome, and the structure is solid. the ideas are compelling and each line is very very tight. there's no wasted space here. i like the way the last line of each verse becomes more personal: "it looks awful next to mine", "it feels awful on my skin", "it tastes awful in my mouth", and "i won't be speaking it again." the bridge is wonderfully spiteful too, i particularly like way "i know i said" echo's "cigarettes" --though i wished that it had been flipped a little more, perhaps have it name some things that the ex-lover should leave? also, there's something about the chord progression that isn't hitting me quite right. you have some really tight rhymes in the verses ("fine/mine", "in/skin", "mouth/south", "then/again") but I'm not hearing them in this recording. I think that its because the first word is on the D chord (I) and then the second word comes when you're on the A7(V7). It may also be the fact that there's a lot of time between the two words. I'm not sure. But there's something about that A7 though. I think it makes the verses sound like a question rather than a statement. I thought maybe it was because you're playing in Dmajor on the guitar and so the A7 resolved up to the D instead of down, but when i played it myself in E major and G major it sounded the same way to me. I'm not sure what it is, but I wish the last two lines of the verse sounded stronger, more certain. Also that's where you have the title of the song, it'd be cool if that part stood out a bit more. All in all though this is very very impressive. The lyrics a very cool, they're direct and precise. nice work. I can't wait to hear more!! [[User:Conorl\|Conorl]] 08:28, 1 March 2009 (PST)		the concept and lyrics for this song are awesome, and the structure is solid. the ideas are compelling and each line is very very tight. there's no wasted space here. i like the way the last line of each verse becomes more personal: "it looks awful next to mine", "it feels awful on my skin", "it tastes awful in my mouth", and "i won't be speaking it again." the bridge is wonderfully spiteful too, i particularly like way "i know i said" echo's "cigarettes" --though i wished that it had been flipped a little more, perhaps have it name some things that the ex-lover should leave? also, there's something about the chord progression that isn't hitting me quite right. you have some really tight rhymes in the verses ("fine/mine", "in/skin", "mouth/south", "then/again") but I'm not hearing them in this recording. I think that its because the first word is on the D chord (I) and then the second word comes when you're on the A7(V7). It may also be the fact that there's a lot of time between the two words. I'm not sure. But there's something about that A7 though. I think it makes the verses sound like a question rather than a statement. I thought maybe it was because you're playing in Dmajor on the guitar and so the A7 resolved up to the D instead of down, but when i played it myself in E major and G major it sounded the same way to me. I'm not sure what it is, but I wish the last two lines of the verse sounded stronger, more certain. Also that's where you have the title of the song, it'd be cool if that part stood out a bit more. All in all though this is very very impressive. The lyrics a very cool, they're direct and precise. nice work. I can't wait to hear more!! [[User:Conorl\|Conorl]] 08:28, 1 March 2009 (PST)
		+
		+	thanks for the comments, man! i agree that the title phrase gets lost since in each case it's being used as a sort of transition between stanzas. and you're right about the rhymes, too. i might try a version where i come back to the D major at the end of each stanza. i hope becky and i will work on this one tomorrow night! [[User:Gabemcelwain\|Gabemcelwain]] 08:07, 2 March 2009 (PST)

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:33, 1 March 2009
Line 60:		Line 60:
	===comments===		===comments===

−	the concept and lyrics for this song are awesome, and the structure is solid. the ideas are compelling and each line is very very tight. there's no wasted space here. i like the way the last line of each verse becomes more personal: "it looks awful next to mine", "it feels awful on my skin", "it tastes awful in my mouth", and "i won't be speaking it again." the bridge is wonderfully spiteful too --though i wished that it had been flipped a little more, perhaps have it name some things that the ex-lover should leave? also, there's something about the chord progression that isn't hitting me quite right. you have some really tight rhymes in the verses ("fine/mine", "in/skin", "mouth/south", "then/again") but I'm not hearing them in this recording. I think that its because the first word is on the D chord (I) and then the second word comes when you're on the A7(V7). It may also be the fact that there's a lot of time between the two words. I'm not sure. But there's something about that A7 though. I think it makes the verses sound like a question rather than a statement. I thought maybe it was because you're playing in Dmajor on the guitar and so the A7 resolved up to the D instead of down, but when i played it myself in E major and G major it sounded the same way to me. I'm not sure what it is, but I wish the last two lines of the verse sounded stronger, more certain. Also that's where you have the title of the song, it'd be cool if that part stood out a bit more. All in all though this is very very impressive. The lyrics a very cool, they're direct and precise. nice work. I can't wait to hear more!! [[User:Conorl\|Conorl]] 08:28, 1 March 2009 (PST)	+	the concept and lyrics for this song are awesome, and the structure is solid. the ideas are compelling and each line is very very tight. there's no wasted space here. i like the way the last line of each verse becomes more personal: "it looks awful next to mine", "it feels awful on my skin", "it tastes awful in my mouth", and "i won't be speaking it again." the bridge is wonderfully spiteful too, i particularly like way "i know i said" echo's "cigarettes" --though i wished that it had been flipped a little more, perhaps have it name some things that the ex-lover should leave? also, there's something about the chord progression that isn't hitting me quite right. you have some really tight rhymes in the verses ("fine/mine", "in/skin", "mouth/south", "then/again") but I'm not hearing them in this recording. I think that its because the first word is on the D chord (I) and then the second word comes when you're on the A7(V7). It may also be the fact that there's a lot of time between the two words. I'm not sure. But there's something about that A7 though. I think it makes the verses sound like a question rather than a statement. I thought maybe it was because you're playing in Dmajor on the guitar and so the A7 resolved up to the D instead of down, but when i played it myself in E major and G major it sounded the same way to me. I'm not sure what it is, but I wish the last two lines of the verse sounded stronger, more certain. Also that's where you have the title of the song, it'd be cool if that part stood out a bit more. All in all though this is very very impressive. The lyrics a very cool, they're direct and precise. nice work. I can't wait to hear more!! [[User:Conorl\|Conorl]] 08:28, 1 March 2009 (PST)

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:28, 1 March 2009
Line 57:		Line 57:
	== Notes ==		== Notes ==
	I had this idea to write a somewhat humorous song about having to get a tattoo removed after a relationship has ended some time last week, but then working on it today it turned into this. I think it's because I have been listening to "Sad Songs and Waltzes" by Willie Nelson for two days straight. I am just glad to have finished a version of one of these country tunes! I have three or four more in various states of completion, so as long if I can keep starting songs at this rate and finish them a little faster, I'll still have one a month by the end of the year. [[User:Gabemcelwain\|Gabemcelwain]] 19:31, 27 February 2009 (PST)		I had this idea to write a somewhat humorous song about having to get a tattoo removed after a relationship has ended some time last week, but then working on it today it turned into this. I think it's because I have been listening to "Sad Songs and Waltzes" by Willie Nelson for two days straight. I am just glad to have finished a version of one of these country tunes! I have three or four more in various states of completion, so as long if I can keep starting songs at this rate and finish them a little faster, I'll still have one a month by the end of the year. [[User:Gabemcelwain\|Gabemcelwain]] 19:31, 27 February 2009 (PST)
		+
		+	===comments===
		+
		+	the concept and lyrics for this song are awesome, and the structure is solid. the ideas are compelling and each line is very very tight. there's no wasted space here. i like the way the last line of each verse becomes more personal: "it looks awful next to mine", "it feels awful on my skin", "it tastes awful in my mouth", and "i won't be speaking it again." the bridge is wonderfully spiteful too --though i wished that it had been flipped a little more, perhaps have it name some things that the ex-lover should leave? also, there's something about the chord progression that isn't hitting me quite right. you have some really tight rhymes in the verses ("fine/mine", "in/skin", "mouth/south", "then/again") but I'm not hearing them in this recording. I think that its because the first word is on the D chord (I) and then the second word comes when you're on the A7(V7). It may also be the fact that there's a lot of time between the two words. I'm not sure. But there's something about that A7 though. I think it makes the verses sound like a question rather than a statement. I thought maybe it was because you're playing in Dmajor on the guitar and so the A7 resolved up to the D instead of down, but when i played it myself in E major and G major it sounded the same way to me. I'm not sure what it is, but I wish the last two lines of the verse sounded stronger, more certain. Also that's where you have the title of the song, it'd be cool if that part stood out a bit more. All in all though this is very very impressive. The lyrics a very cool, they're direct and precise. nice work. I can't wait to hear more!! [[User:Conorl\|Conorl]] 08:28, 1 March 2009 (PST)

@@ Line 28: / Line 28: @@
 memories we made together
 of the times we had before this thing went south
-you can keep the promises you made to someone else
+you can keep the promises we made with someone else
 take back your name
 it tastes awful in my mouth

@@ Line 34: / Line 34: @@
 you can keep the ring and when you take the ring back then
 take back your name
-i won't be speaking it again
+i won't be needing it again
 </pre>
@@ Line 57: / Line 57: @@
 == Notes ==
 I had this idea to write a somewhat humorous song about having to get a tattoo removed after a relationship has ended some time last week, but then working on it today it turned into this.  I think it's because I have been listening to "Sad Songs and Waltzes" by Willie Nelson for two days straight.  I am just glad to have finished a version of one of these country tunes!  I have three or four more in various states of completion, so as long if I can keep starting songs at this rate and finish them a little faster, I'll still have one a month by the end of the year. [[User:Gabemcelwain|Gabemcelwain]] 19:31, 27 February 2009 (PST)
 ===comments===
 the concept and lyrics for this song are awesome, and the structure is solid. the ideas are compelling and each line is very very tight. there's no wasted space here. i like the way the last line of each verse becomes more personal: "it looks awful next to mine", "it feels awful on my skin", "it tastes awful in my mouth", and "i won't be speaking it again." the bridge is wonderfully spiteful too, i particularly like way "i know i said" echo's "cigarettes"  --though i wished that it had been flipped a little more, perhaps have it name some things that the ex-lover should leave? also, there's something about the chord progression that isn't hitting me quite right. you have some really tight rhymes in the verses ("fine/mine", "in/skin", "mouth/south", "then/again") but I'm not hearing them in this recording. I think that its because the first word is on the D chord (I) and then the second word comes when you're on the A7(V7). It may also be the fact that there's a lot of time between the two words. I'm not sure. But there's something about that A7 though. I think it makes the verses sound like a question rather than a statement. I thought maybe it was because you're playing in Dmajor on the guitar and so the A7 resolved up to the D instead of down, but when i played it myself in E major and G major it sounded the same way to me. I'm not sure what it is, but I wish the last two lines of the verse sounded stronger, more certain. Also that's where you have the title of the song, it'd be cool if that part stood out a bit more. All in all though this is very very impressive. The lyrics a very cool, they're direct and precise. nice work. I can't wait to hear more!! [[User:Conorl|Conorl]] 08:28, 1 March 2009 (PST)