Make it true or crush

make it true or crush

oh my! :)

Lyrics

you're so clean
i can't bear to touch you
but i do

you're so far
i can barely reach you
if i did i don't know
what i would do with you

you're so kind
bet you'd bring her flowers
bet you'd talk for hours
bet you'd never doubt her

if you're so smart
won't you teach me
to tell the truth

and i could show you how
to make it true
true

it's funny how
we fall in love
you know you're out to get you

don't think of how
just think of now
you close your eyes and crush me

who's looking now
the game is up
see how i turn the tables

oh won't you teach me
how to tell the truth
and make it fable

my goodnight wish
your hello kiss
your face asleep and vulnerable

just tell me how
i can make you notice
i can't believe
i have to tell you all this
it couldn't be more clear
when you crush me like this

and if i could
make you laugh forever
and if i could
make you mine
for whatever it would take to
make it true
true

Music

structure

a-a-b-a-a-c-d-d-d-d-d-e-e-e-a-c

key

e major

Author's Notes

this is just a demo built to support the melody. i wanted to write a fast pop song. am absolutely sure this melody on the chorus (d) part is lifted from another song but i can't think of what it is. work in progess....

oh! i remember now. the song is "when i grow up" by garbage, i think (having not verified it). i now like these lyrics, but i need to resing it.

Comments

• The verse melody on this song is infectious. Like, I caught it. Now I have it. I really miss it once it goes away, too. I want a second verse in there somewhere.
• I think the first stanza doesn't make much sense. I think if you changed the second line to, "I can barely touch you," it would. I know you're using that formulation right after that, but I wouldn't mind. In general, though, these lyrics are awesome pop stock. I am a little confused by "make it a fable", but it doesn't seem out of place, which is to say, I'm willing to blame myself for that one. Good use of, "crush," which gets my vote for the title, by the way.
• I don't know if you should throw the 16th on the hihat in between the first and second stanzas. Maybe you should hold off on that until C.
• Very pleasing wrapping of the melody on, "vulnerable,"
• I think the C section could use a more inventive melody in its second half. That's where the big hook should go, I think. Especially coming after that super hot verse, and with that cool progression underneath. Not to mention at the very end. Good percussion on the C section, and throughout, really. Driving.
• Super awesome synth strings, though the arrangement could be a mite more engaging, I think.
• Cowbell = awesome.
• Somehow, the second half of the song really runs together for me. I think it's that the arrangement just keeps piling up with keyboards and stuff and the dynamics kind of max out. Also, I could be wrong, but some of those keyboard parts don't seem as refined as they might be, like maybe you've thrown a bunch of stuff to the wall to see what sticks, but haven't gone through the lightning round. All fair game on a demo, of course, but this is a neat song, and I'd love to hear a really dynamite version of it.

Gabemcelwain 08:27, 4 April 2007 (PDT)